This was the only thing I wanted to do today. Sleep. Forget. I would curl up in bed and hold onto my ribcage so it didn't fall apart around the hole where my heart used to be. Sometimes I would cry. Mostly I would just exist. One breath, two... One heartbeat, another... Still here.
I wanted to pretend like today wasn't happening. I dragged myself up the stairs, ate dinner and cake, opened birthday cards. I can't remember if I had the energy to muster a smile. I checked Facebook - tons of Happy Birthday comments. I'm surrounded by good people who genuinely care about me. And yet I feel so completely alone.
You're not alone and you can beat this. I know you can. I know you feel awful but keep looking at all those Facebook messages and you'll see how much you're loved.
ReplyDeleteAt least tonight you'll have some Friendly's fun and I have a coupon!