Pumping iron

Day 181

This is what I do while watching Dollhouse. It inspires to me to push myself because I have deluded myself into believing that if I lift enough weights, one day I will wake up with Eliza Dushku's body. Obviously, it hasn't happened yet. In this particular picture, I had just spent nearly an hour on the elliptical at the gym, got home and decided that wasn't good enough, so here we are with the free weights. At least I'm being productive with my excess energy.

We are not amused

Day 180

Today was crap. I can't even write about it because I don't want to further depress myself. I have to shake the mood, and flip it into something positive, which is absolutely doable. I just have to work through the bad feelings first.

Accessories

Day 179

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. None of my outfits are complete without cat hair.

Skin is a gift

Day 178

Putting on lotion is my favorite part of getting out of the shower. Not only am I clean, but now I get to put nice smelling moisturizer on my skin. I can't survive without moisturizer. My skin feels tight and weird without it. I can't touch things until I've moisturized my hands. My feet usually get put into fuzzy socks after the lotion so it will stay on longer. God forbid I run out of lotion at work. As someone who washes their hands every time they go to the bathroom, I need lotion directly after drying my hands. If I don't have any lotion, I'm hyper sensitive to the dry skin and there are certain things I can't touch. It distracts me until I'm finally able to get some lotion. Some might call it slightly obsessive. I call it survival.

Is it bed time yet?

Day 177

This is seriously all I've got right now. I'm pooped. I partied like the rockstar I was meant to be both Friday and Saturday nights. Then I spent the afternoon and evening today at Julia's 4th birthday party. I love my family, and my cousins' children bring me genuine happiness. But after about a dozen times of lifting Sienna to the top of the slide and helping her slide down, my arms were in danger of giving out. But when a 15 month old that cute looks at you and says, "I want slide," you do not say no. It is physically and mentally impossible to deny that child anything. I really feel that I was meant to be a mother, but I accept the fact that I probably never will be. That's cool though. As long as the rest of my family members keep having babies, I'll be happy.

Stand by me

Day 176

I'm always happy when Mike decides to make a guest appearance. He is someone who always gives me a sense of peace, calm, and stability. Not surprising, considering how long we've known each other and how well we know each other. I'm glad that after all these years we're still good friends.

And the beat goes on

Day 175

I decided that I hadn't been using my iHome nearly enough, so I've been making a point of watching less TV and listening to more music. I'm currently listening to my latest guilty pleasure song - "Just The Way You Are" by Bruno Mars. Even though he stole a Billy Joel song title and that's not cool (but I can't stand that particular Billy Joel song anyway), this song always brings a smile to my face. I can't help it - I just get lost in it. My music taste is so eclectic that it's almost scary.

Baseball + 1

Day 174

I seriously thought about this all day. I could not wait for the work day to be over because I knew I would be having a Friendly's date with Katie and Heather. I thought about what I would order for dinner, what kind of ice cream I wanted, and all the laughs the three of us would have. I would have liked to have been able to join them for zumba beforehand, but I was unable to make it. There was no way I was missing out on Friendly's though. I had a great time at dinner with them, and I look forward to more fun nights like this.

Muse

Day 173

I think my choice of dresses today was inspired by Toni. I hung out with her last night, and she was wearing a flowy skirt. She's also a textile designer, so this colorful pattern made me think of her. I bought this dress 2 years ago for Kate's bridal shower. I was still fat then, so now it has a vague muu muu vibe to it because it hangs funny in certain places. I was in no mood to change once I put the damn thing on, and it's still cute, so whatever. I pulled off the look and I got through the day. Mission accomplished.

Solace

Day 172

And suddenly my bad day doesn't seem so bad at all...

All request night

Day 171

Charlie requested an angry picture for the blog. I don't know why he wanted an angry picture. Apparently he doesn't know why he wanted an angry picture. But I like to keep my readers happy. My fake angry face is rather goofy and much less intimidating than my real angry face, but at least I made the attempt.

Cracked

Day 170

This picture was originally taken on my phone during Jay's birthday celebration, but then the screen on my phone shattered because I've gone 29 years and still don't understand the concept of holding something. My poor Droid met with an untimely death in the parking lot at work when I dropped it while walking to my car. Luckily, I was smart enough to get insurance on it, so they sent me a replacement phone for a lot less than I would have normally paid. I couldn't figure out how to get this picture from the old phone to the new phone, and it wouldn't transfer onto my computer either, so the best I could do was take a picture of the picture. Regardless, Jae Q's birthday was a totally fun time, and I adore our awesome friendship.

Bean pole

Day 169

I truly love these boots. The only downfall is that they make me even taller than I already am. But they don't make awesome boots like these in flats. Because if they did, they wouldn't be awesome boots like these. You see my problem.

I have always thought I was too tall. I was always the tallest kid in my class, and it was totally embarrassing until the boys finally started catching up. Somewhere around 5'3" would be my ideal height. But no, I kept going right up to 5'7" and a half. To make matters worse, quite a few of my friends are shorter than I am, so I always felt like the Jolly Green Giant. I stick out like a sore thumb. Add the fact that I'm incredibly clumsy into the equation and it's just a bad scene altogether.

My legs are one of my best features, I'll admit that, but I really do wish I was at least a little shorter. Guys seem to dig the tall leggy thing, but really, I don't like enough guys for it to matter all that much. It's rare that I bother giving someone the time of day as anything more than a friend. I'm picky and anti social - not a good combination in the dating scene.

Typical me

Day 168

I had a little time to kill before Doug came to pick me up to head out to the club. I decided it was the perfect time to get in a little Final Fantasy XIII. I found it funny... dressed like this and playing a video game. I'm so ridiculous. I couldn't help but be reminded of Jay's awesome title for me: "The Hottest Nerd In The World." Works for me.

Murphy's Law

Day 167

I look like a dejected ferret in this picture. Why do I look so defeated and blah, you may ask? I'll tell you.

I can't be on time. Ever. I have tried my hardest, and punctuality is simply not my forte. I run on "Culver time," which was my grandmother's reference to the fact that my grandfather was perpetually late. She even went so far as to start telling him that events began a half hour earlier than they actually did so he would get there on time. When I tell myself it isn't so much tardiness as it is carrying on Grandpa's legacy, I usually don't feel so bad about it. Not so much today.

I was running late. Later than late. I sent Mat a text message to inform him of said lateness, and he said not to worry about it because he wouldn't be in until noon anyway. Aces. Unbeknownst to me, at the office, Damien needed something printed from the color printer for the client meeting he was rushing to get ready for. I am the only one with a color printer; it seemed to make sense since I so often print out the marketing materials I create. That means that when anyone else in the office needs something printed in color, they come to me. Usually not a problem. Except when I'm not there.

When I got to the office, I discovered that Damien had signed onto my computer with his login and printed what he needed himself. So on top of the guilt over being late, now I felt guilty for disappointing Damien. And I couldn't even apologize right away because he had taken off to his meeting.

I tried to just go about my day when I ran smack into the next problem. I couldn't log onto my computer. The user name and password that I've used for the past 3 months apparently didn't feel like working today. Good thing I had my laptop, or I'd have been totally screwed. However, I did need some things from my desktop computer that I couldn't access, and it drove me totally nuts. And the IT guy wasn't there today. Wonderful.

So I did what I always do when things aren't going my way. I text messaged Clem: "Can I go home?"

Food, glorious food

Day 166

Pay day means that Luna and I can eat. I usually only go to the grocery store once a month when the mid-month paycheck hits my bank account. We love paychecks. We love them good.

Tech

Day 165

I might as well get my work laptop surgically attached to me. Most of the imporant stuff is on it, though I still have to work on transfering over more stuff from my main desktop computer at work. It comes with me everywhere, and I've made people actually sit through demos so I can practice. I have my neat little index cards that I use to walk my way through the demos. They're like a security blanket at this point. I can't do a demo without my cards. I'm also constantly connected to my email, not only through this laptop, but through my phone. I can work on mailing lists and newsletters from the comfort of my couch. Most people dread the idea of having to bring work home, but I really don't mind it. Some days, I'm downright happy about it. Having worked where I did for over a year, wasting my potential away, feeling terrible about myself because I knew I was better than what that job was giving me... taking work home every once in a while is small price to pay. I make good money at a stable company, doing work that pertains to my college degree, and I work for and with great people. I'm very happy professionally, and that was one of my goals when I decided it was time to pull my life back together, so I'm doing pretty well.

Plain Jane

Day 164

The polish finally chipped off enough that it was annoying me. So I took the rest of it off with nail polish remover. Now I just feel drab and dumpy. Time to make a pedi date with Katie.

I know there's fish out there but where God only knows

Day 163

I admit I wasn't overly thrilled when I learned that Uncle Bob's 70th birthday party would be spent on a fishing boat. I figured I would park myself on the deck somewhere sunny, nurse a beer and get a tan. I should have known better, because with my family, no matter what we do is an absolute blast.

I was having a fun time, talking with my family and bopping to the great tunes Aunt Karen had picked, and when we stopped for the first round of fishing, I figured I'd give it a go. I hadn't fished since our trip to St. Thomas way back in the day. It wasn't long before my competitive nature kicked itself into gear. I had to catch some fish - they would not get the best of this little lady!

I didn't catch the biggest fish, nor did I win the pool for the first one to puke, but I did catch the only crab of the day. A little crab grabbed onto my bait and held on all the way to the surface. The boat dude (likely the captain, but I'm not sure) said that it was a girl crab, and she was pregnant. Hormones and hunger make you do silly things like hold onto food that is clearly taking you to places you don't want to go. After snapping some pictures, we threw her back. I wish her the best of luck with her new family. Having kids isn't easy, and it must be much harder when they have claws. After we threw Miss Crab safely back into the water, I turned to my mom and smiled. "Grandpa's here," I said.

She smiled back at me. "Yes, he is."

I was actually a little disappointed when the fishing trip was over. I really had a wonderful day with my family, and I know Uncle Bob truly enjoyed his birthday celebration. My fam is the best.

Happy birthday Kate!

Day 162

I sent Kate a text message today to wish her a happy birthday and find out what she was doing to celebrate. We've had a joke - at least I'm pretty sure it's a joke - that her parents have been paying me and my parents have been paying her to be friends with each other since we were 12. Clearly, my parents sent the check in this month, because she invited me to join in her birthday celebration.

At the time this picture was taken, there were 6 of us in the car. Steve and Charlie in the front, Paul and Jess in the back, and Katie and I in the back-back. I thought it was super cool that Katie's car has a whole other seat hidden in the trunk. Sai is a Transformer - how awesome is that? The thing about the back-back seat is it's rather small. You might think that we are squeezing in close to each other just for the picture, but you'd be wrong. That's just seriously all the room we had. We were very cozy. But if you have to be that up close and personal with someone, it might as well be your BFF. I actually enjoyed the ride to Friday's, as we all laughed and joked the whole way.

Chris and Kristen got there before us, and informed us that the wait would be 40 minutes. That's when Katie threw out her new idea - "You want to go to Hooters?" I find this hysterical, because 1) I'm immature, and everything about the word "hooters" is funny to me, 2) Katie says it funny; she actually makes a little hoot noise as she says it; and 3) it reminds me of Hootie McBoob, which is still by far my favorite of Katie's blog posts. We finally decide against Hooters and wait it out at Friday's, which turns out to be an excellent decision because it totally was not a 40 minute wait.

We had a blast at dinner, even though Charlie and I had no clue what was going on when the conversation turned to anime. Katie had in fact mentioned to me that her birthday would include a feature of anime back at her place later, and normally I would have said absolutely no way, but it's her birthday and I love her more than she knows.

Of all the people at the table, the restaurant staff didn't bring Katie's dessert. They felt horrible and sang to her, but she still didn't get any dessert. Katie wanted Carvel, but it was closed, and after Steve made his own exit out of the parking lot, we went to Friendly's. I couldn't have eaten another bite if I wanted to, even it was ice cream, and there's supposed to always be room for ice cream. But Katie got her birthday dessert, and some others got ice cream as well.

Back at Katie and Steve's place, Steve made a beeline to check the crab trap. I didn't even see him get out of the car - he was just gone and suddenly in the back yard. Ninja Steve. There were crabs in it, so we got to witness a public execution, a picture of which will be Katie's selfer for the day. I'm a crabber from way back, thanks to my grandpa, and even I'm impressed with Kate's crab preparation skills.

We watched some South Park (the Jersey Shore episode), and then Justin showed up, at which point we decided it was time to throw on the anime. We watched something called Sgt. Frog, which seemed kind of cute from the opening, so I thought I would at least be able to tolerate it. I was so very wrong. Charlie and I kept looking at each other out of the corners of our eyes, quiet commiseration for the torture we were enduring in the name of our beloved Katie.

I made my exit early because I have Uncle Bob's birthday celebration tomorrow. But I had an awesome time, and I hope Katie had a wonderful birthday, because I certainly had a great time helping her celebrate it.

The Misadventures of Gothie McGothPants

Day 161

It has been a while since I've bothered to go to a club at all, let alone get all dressed up. But I had a good feeling about tonight, so I went with it. I think it turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself.

Pretty as a picture

Day 160

I really like the dress I wore today. Just sayin'.

Oof

Day 159

Today was brutal. It was just one of those days. And yet, I still didn't leave the office in tears. It has been almost three months since I've cried about my job, and I started this one in March, so you do the math. Here's to good decisions!

Battle scars

Day 158

My arms and legs are covered in scratches like this. Just when one has healed, Luna gives me another one. And that's just her being playful. Imagine when she's angry. Is kittenhood over yet?

Done-zo

Day 157

Tonight is one of those "stare blankly at the TV because I simply have nothing left" kind of nights. I zombied my way through the gym earlier, only because I knew I'd be annoyed with myself tomorrow if I didn't. Zero energy today.

Companion

Day 156

Luna has always been pretty good about knowing when I'm not feeling well and curling up to keep me company. The little jerk does have a heart after all. The better part of today was spent on the couch with a heating pad on my neck in an attempt to loosen up my muscles and make the migraine go away. I woke up with it this morning, and I hate it when that happens. It's such a disappointment to wake up already in so much pain.

Where's Waldo?

Day 155

Today was Julia's dance recital. I really didn't expect it to be such a big venue, but it was held in a huge auditorium. I actually had trouble finding parking, and then I had trouble finding my family. Thankfully Kim spotted me, or I would have been wandering around in the dark for who knows how long.

The dancers were great, and some of them were very talented, but I was definitely partial to the little ones that didn't really know what they were doing.  I did not expect it to be so long though! I don't think anyone else did either. By the time Julia's dance was done - the 20th number, by the way, and that marked the halfway point - I was kind of over it. Her class danced to "Material Girl" by Madonna, and she looked adorable in her costume. I swear, my family makes the cutest kids.

I thought it was very funny when I looked at my ticket later that I was seated in Row R. It brought back memories of the seats that Katie and I had (also in Row R) for the Clay Aiken concert way back when. The York, PA road trip lives on.

Blast from the past

Day 154

That whole looking and feeling like a human being thing again has caused me to bust out my jewelry box. I'm mixing up the old and new pieces to match my outfits, and I know it's incredibly girly, but it's fun.

Mom bought me these earrings back in high school, and they are one of the few "good" pairs of earrings I have left. Because I haven't worn earrings on a regular basis in a long time, I felt it was smart to wear surgical steel until my ears get used to it again. I found these hanging out at the bottom of my jewelry box and got very excited to wear them again.

It's all about the little things.

Lucky me

Day 153

I think this one is self explanatory. I feel pretty lucky these days. Career, apartment, family, friends - it's all good. The front of this shirt features Lucky Bear. I'm 29 years old, and I wear a Care Bears shirt to bed. Don't judge me.

Sanctuary

Day 152

I'm not sure which I'm more thankful for at the moment - my couch or the incredible lady I'm talking to on the phone. But they are both awesome and provide me with a great sense of peace and well-being.