Famous last words

Day 365

So here we are. Three hundred and sixty five days later. It has been an incredible year. I feel that I have grown a lot this year. I figured out a great deal more about who I am, what I need, and the people I want beside me throughout my life's journey. So much happened this past year, both good and bad, and I'm very proud of myself for keeping up this project through it all. What started out as a crutch turned into a fulfilling project that I saw through to the end. I'm thankful to everyone who read it, even the days that weren't so entertaining, and offered me the support and encouragement to keep writing.

I've been asked if there will be a 2012 blog. The jury was out for quite a while on that. I didn't want to do the same blog, but for a while, I had the idea to do pictures from the other side of the camera. I see so many random things on a daily basis that would give me plenty to write about. I took quite a while to weigh the pros and cons of it before I came up with an answer. Will there be a 2012 blog? No. I don't have the heart for it right now, but I may start up another project at another time, and I will link that one here so my readers will be able to find me again.

The 2011 photo blog was a fun challenge, and I'm glad I did it. I'm proud of my blog, and of myself. And I'm grateful for each event in my life that inspired one of these pictures. I thank each of you for reading; it meant a lot to me. 2011 was a pretty good year.

"These are the last words I have to say
That's why this took so long to write
There will be other words some other day
But that's the story of my life"
~Billy Joel

They can't all be winners, kid.

Day 364

The Keurig is packed, and the little regular coffee maker lives at Doug's, and even if it didn't, I don't have any regular coffee. I had gotten Starbucks gift cards for Christmas, so that's where I headed.

All I really wanted was a Creme Brulee Latte to get me through the rest of my packing. I chose the drive through Starbucks on Stewart Avenue, because one would tend to think the drive through would be faster. One would think wrong. It took forever to even get up to the menu so I could give them my order. And then they were out of the Creme Brulee flavor. So I dealt with my disappointment, took a deep breath, and ordered a Peppermint Mocha instead. And then they apparently started making my drink. Maybe they had to stop to milk the cows, or they got confused about the recipe, or they had to wait for the Peppermint Fairy to come, whatever, but you really shouldn't keep a coffee addict waiting. They tend to get cranky.

Do you know how when you really want something and have to settle for something else that you might like just as much, but you're still annoyed because it wasn't what you originally wanted? Yes, that was me today. I drank most of it during my last ditch packing effort before the movers come tomorrow. It sat on the bookshelf. I would scowl at it. Take a skip. Go back to scowling. I really wanted that Creme Brulee Latte. No fair.

Pack it up and move it out

Day 363

It has become so very familiar to me - the Great Wall of Boxes. Somewhere in my genetic code is embedded the ability to pack up an entire apartment in under a week. Or maybe it's a learned behavior. We moved around so much when I was a kid. I must have picked up a thing or two along the way. I know how to fit the maximum amount into one box without anything breaking. I know to make a list on paper that corresponds to the number on the box to ensure that the correct amount of boxes get to the destination, and also that there are no surprises while unpacking. I always said that I wanted to plant roots somewhere, but I'm so good at never staying in the same place.

Awww

Day 362

I just love it when she gets like this. She's a lot like me - she doesn't like to show her heart too much, but when she does, she really means it. The along-side snuggle is probably my favorite. She will sleep rather soundly like this too, so I get quality time with my little munchkin. She is the best thing that came out of my move to Florida.

Kitten

Day 361

Loki decided to use my foot as his pillow this evening. He loves me and has claimed me as his. This is a good thing.

Hello, I love you

Day 360

When I unwrapped my new Kindle Fire yesterday, I could not help but break out in a big smile. Yes, I was very sick, and I had a fever, and what a crappy way to spend Christmas, but everything is okay because now I have a Kindle. There is now an entire world of books literally at my fingertips, and I could not be more excited about this fact. I immerse myself when I read; I become the characters. If I enjoy the book enough, I will live and breathe the story lines and characters until I'm done, and sometimes even after that. At the moment, you may call me Sylvie, and I am learning how to move things with my mind and occasionally light them on fire.

All I want for Christmas is you!

Day 359

Out of all the things I wanted for Christmas, these were definitely in the top five. Journeys makes mismatched socks, and you can mix and match them any way you want. This appeals to my fun child like side and also my love of socks. Doug came through in a big way with this gift. He got me a nice little pile of truly lovely and thoughtful gifts for Christmas, but I have to say this was probably the most exciting. As an added bonus, guess what these socks do. Go ahead, guess. They glow in the dark! Honestly, could there be cooler socks on the face of the planet? I think not. I'm sure there are those readers out there (of the few I have) making a funny face at their computer screen and wondering what the hell is wrong with me. They're just socks. Nobody gets excited about receiving socks for Christmas. They're the lamest of lame gifts; the "oh gee thanks, where's the next gift?" gift; the gift you get simply because they can't all be winners. But I disagree with all of that. I'm the proud minority. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I love socks. I'm aware that it's not normal. In fact, it may not even be entirely healthy. But I'm not hurting anybody, and everyone who knows me well has come to regard my sock infatuation with an ounce of calm affection for the things they cannot (and likely would not) change.

Ingenious!

Day 358

This was my Christmas present to myself. A GIR snuggie that makes me look... well... exactly like GIR. Only taller. My tallest!

The Eve

Day 357

Tonight was The Eve celebration at Christine and John's house. We did it on the eve of Christmas Eve this year. It was the usual chaotic fun party with the whole family.

I got to spend time talking with my cousins and playing with the kids. Julia loved my gifts, and she put the whole puzzle together during the party. Doug even got in on the fun by helping put together Sienna's toy grocery cart.

The Eve celebration is an integral part of Christmas for me, and I had a wonderful time this year. I love my family!

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty

Day 356

I flippin' love her. Sometimes I just can't even take the cuteness. Undoubtedly, she'll turn around and bite me or claw my arm to bits. Somehow that doesn't stop me from loving her. So she's got some issues - doesn't everyone? She forgives me my flaws, so I should give her the same respect. I love it when she's being a mush, and hopefully one day when she gets older, she'll be a cuddly lap cat.

Cozy

Day 355

I got flannel pajamas. I may not bother changing out of them until May. I don't care if I'm lame because flannel pajamas make me entirely happy. At least I am easily satisfied. And people have called me high maintenance. Take that.

Itteh Bitteh Kitteh

Day 354

Just another day in the life of a frazzled kitten mommy. I don't know how people with actual human children do it. This little fur ball is enough to keep me hopping 24/7. I'm exhausted from her never ending kitten energy. She has calmed down quite a bit since I got her, but that isn't saying very much. She's starting to turn into a bit of a lap cat, and that suits me just fine. But after her ten second power nap, she's up and zooming around again. She is a lunatic; at least I named her appropriately.

Strumming along

Day 353

I was wearing my guitar socks tonight, so I took the opportunity to pose with Hohner. This is the guitar Doug gave me to practice on, but I honestly don't think I'll be a stellar guitarist any time soon. Or ever, for that matter.

Apparently, Hohner has had a very full life. Doug has filled me in on some of his fun adventures. It made me want to write a book, or maybe a short story. Hohner: The Life and Times of A Humble Guitar.

Spinning something fine

Day 352

Finespun performed tonight at Mulcahy's in Centereach for the Make A Wish Foundation benefit concert. The atmosphere was very Christmas-y, and everyone was upbeat and having a great time. There was delicious food laid out for everyone who attended and creme-filled cupcakes on the dessert table. I got to spend quality time with a bunch of quality people, and it made me happy to look around at all the good things in my life.

My boyfriend is wonderful because he took apart the entire merch rack to get me the last sweatshirt. Honestly, had I known it would be such an undertaking, I would have just dealt with it. But I was really cold. And he loves me enough to spend a half hour disassembling merchandise to make sure I'm warm. He's a good egg.

Writer's block

Day 351

It really sucks to be a writer when you can't think of anything to write about. The story in front of me has been giving me problems since last summer. I even wrote another version of it and changed the relationship of the main character and her male friend, deleted the boyfriend from her life completely, who I may or may not write back in, and what the hell was I trying to accomplish here anyway? It was supposed to be poignant. It was a way for me to release the ending of a bad relationship. I even gave the antagonist my ex's name. There's a certain scene that is important, but I've been avoiding writing it. The story won't be the same without it. I don't know that I'll ever finish this story. It will sit with all the other unfinished pieces, quietly waiting in a folder on my computer for me to notice it again.

In the shadows

Day 350

Doug often gives me a private performance of his shadow puppet theater creations. He's rather good at it. So after tonight's curtain call, I decided that our shadows should be the picture for today. I got our good sides.

Christmas, squared

Day 349

Michelle and I had our Squared Christmas celebration tonight. Dan was working, and Doug was at rehearsal, so we took the opportunity to have a fun girls night. This consisted of opening presents, eating pizza, and watching Paul. It was awesome.

When I first arrived, Squared was upset because she had been unable to find a good picture of us to put up in her apartment. I smiled inwardly, knowing that I had gotten her the perfect gift - a picture of the two of us from her shower in a pretty frame. And her gift to me was perfect as well - a Fox Racing sweatshirt that is so soft and warm. LOVE IT.

We had a great night talking and laughing together. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful best friend.

I can has job plz?

Day 348

Today is a big day, or at least it could be. I have two interviews lined up, and they sound promising, so wish me luck!

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas

Day 347

I came home today and found that Luna had decided to open one of Doug's presents. At least she didn't destroy the contents, but she did a number on the paper. Perhaps because her name was on it since the tag said "From Michelle and Luna," she got confused and thought it was for her. Once she realized it wasn't she got bored and walked away. Christmas time with a kitten is one heck of a challenge.

Can I have your autograph?

Day 346

Ed autographed my stake. So now not only am I the slayer, but I have what will one day be a collector's item when Finespun becomes famous. Not that it wouldn't be a collector's item anyway, because who wouldn't want a slayer's first stake? But this definitely adds to the value.

Nightie night

Day 345

Apparently, all I needed in order to get a good night's sleep was rest my head on one of Doug's pillows. I should have thought of this way before now. I'm watching TV and already getting very sleepy. Good stuff.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta

Day 344

I look like a badass hoodlum who is up to no good. I'm actually just waiting for Jackie to get out of work so we can get our nails done and then go shopping. Don't judge a book by its cover. ;)

A Bucket of Lame Sauce

Day 343

I didn't even get out of my pajamas at all today. I didn't have to, considering the fact that I slept until 6 PM. My sleep schedule is officially turned upside down. And I'm sick. And Doug's out of town for the rest of the week. Crankypants supreme.

Making waves

Day 342

I had been thinking about it for a while, but today was the day. I broke out the waver for the 2nd experiment with it. I think it came out better this time since my hair is longer, but I can't seem to get rid of the frizzies. My hair is probably so fried that frizz is its natural state. But I use leave-in conditioner, so what the hell? The only way I've ever been able to banish the frizz is to put a metric ton of mousse in it and scrunch, scrunch, scrunch. But I wanted the curls to look softer and more natural, so I thought the waver would do it. It sort of worked. I just need to figure out how to make the frizz go away. There must be some product that will work. Now to find it...

OMG!

Day 341

Ha! Just kidding. I'm not stupid enough to get engaged after 6 months again. There are some mistakes I actually learn from. After 6 years... or 6 decades... maybe. But even that might be rushing it a bit.

I just couldn't think of anything to write about today so I put on this CZ ring and took a picture. Who the hell could ever afford a 3 carat diamond this day and age anyway? I once knew a girl who said she would never accept anything less than 3 carats. I find that completely ridiculous, not to mention materialistic and shallow. I have small hands anyway, so anything more than a carat looks silly on me. So let's fix this picture.

That's better. My birthstone is garnet - it's sort of fabulous. I like wearing rings on my middle fingers. It's stylish, and it gives people something decorative to look at when I flip them off.

TV

Day 340

Luna and I watch a lot of television together. It's nice. We are watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer (third go-around, I think), and we're somewhere in season five. Luna has a crush on Spike, whereas I'm more of an Angel fan, but I kind of need to get over that. I have a shockingly strong crush on Giles, but I've always liked older men. Riley was okay, until he turned into a whiny cheating slime bucket. I'm glad he's in the jungle. Get out and stay out, jerk. Sometimes I'll call Luna "little bit" because that's what Spike calls Dawn. She likes that. She'll usually settle down to watch Buffy with me. She's okay with Dollhouse too, but Firefly doesn't keep her attention. And forget about Angel; that just makes her cranky.

Mushy mush

Day 339

This is pretty much how my entire existence is taken up these days. I occupy two residences and play musical cats. When I'm home, I cuddle with Luna. When I'm at Doug's, I cuddle with Loki. Two kitten snuggles for the price of one - sold.

Slow and steady wins the race

Day 338

I'm doing better today, but still with the icky blah meh feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'll flip this negative into a positive somehow. I just have to figure out what my next 7 or 8 moves will be, and then get a few steps ahead of that. Not too daunting a task or anything...

We saved each other

Day 337

Maybe it's because she's been through this with me before, but Luna knows the drill. She doesn't leave my side, cuddles and purrs and kneads. She licks away my tears, and then licks my forehead or the tip of my nose. Sometimes both. I just need the weekend to sulk, and then I'll pull myself together. That's the plan anyway, but we all know how bad I am with planning.

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

Day 336

Really. Bad. Day. I'm not even going to get into all the upsetting and life-altering events that went down. I have no energy or motivation to expend on the blog. If you need me, I'll be curled up in the fetal position on my bed with a fuzzy blanket.

Comfort

Day 335

I'm depressed, but not too depressed to play video games. I put on Final Fantasy XIII today to pass some time. I started it over from the beginning because I want to level my characters differently this time around. My favorite character is Lightning. Snow is good as far as fighting goes, but he's a total egotist, and I can't stand that kind of person. I love Sahz because a baby Chocobo lives in his afro. Vanille is okay, and she's a great healer. I hate Hope. He's so useless. Maybe if I level him better this time around, he won't suck. Time will tell. I haven't gotten to the part where Fang comes in yet, but I do like her character a great deal. I'm enjoying the game thus far, and it zones me out so I don't have to deal with reality for a while. No wonder I played it so much when I lived with PXF. Distractions are good.

Dinner with Mr. Miele

Day 334

This has gradually become our new thing. We used to meet each other places, but now Jon just comes here. It allows me to be lazy. I fully endorse that. It started out as just coffee, but somewhere along the line we progressed to dinner. I fully endorse that as well.

We ordered Domino's. You can't really go wrong with that. We incorporated the box into today's picture, so it's not "the same damn picture."

I think this was take number 6. I couldn't find my camera, so I tried to use the timer on my phone's camera. This was the best of the lot.

The box says, "Frozen pizza is the root of all evil." Amusing, but I find this to be untrue.

Telepathy

Day 333

I swear, she really does know when I need her. The rest of the time, I can pretty much go F myself, but the moment I don't feel well or I'm sad, she's all about the cuddling. It's nice to be loved.

Enjoy the silence

Day 332

All that I need today is right here. One breath, then another, and her scent relaxes me, and she loves me. Everything is okay.

Linus

Day 331

This is the scarf that my cousins bought for me for Christmas last year. They figured that since I had just moved back from Florida, I could use some warm clothing items. They were right. 

I bonded to this scarf right away. I was going through a very tough time in my life last Christmas that lasted straight through to May. This scarf rarely left my neck. I would take my coat off, but not the scarf. It was my security blanket of sorts. The only time I didn't have it on was at bed time when I had Luna, my neck heating pad, and a plethora of pillows to make me feel better. 

When Kathy first gave me the GIR pin she had, it went on the scarf. (It now resides on my makeup case.) 

I don't have the same attachment to the scarf this year because I'm not in that emotionally awful place. But when I found it mixed in with my winter things, it made me happy. A feeling of calm came over me when I put it on, and maybe it was just the love of my family keeping me warm and safe last winter. 

Or maybe I just form unhealthy bonds to inanimate objects.

Lucy: You think you're so smart with that blanket. What are you going to do with it when you grow up?

Linus: Maybe I'll make it into a sport coat.

Braids

Day 330

I'm not sure why I decided to put my hair in braids when I got out of the shower. Maybe Buffy or Willow had braids in a random episode I was watching, so the idea was in my head. The plan is that maybe once my hair dries and I take the braids out, it'll do a cool wavy thing. It probably won't though because my hair seldom cooperates with my experiments.

'Tis the season

Day 329

It's the day after Thanksgiving, so it is acceptable to put up the Christmas decorations now. This is our family Christmas photo. I bought a sad little Charlie Brown Christmas tree because it was cheap. I put up my stocking as well as Luna's. I need to start making out Christmas cards and wrapping presents. I wish Luna would stop trying to eat the tree, but I think that might be asking too much.

Turkey Day

Day 328

We had dinner at Debbie & Sue's house for Thanksgiving. Everything was delicious! I was so excited when I saw the place settings that I nearly fell over. It's me! As a turkey! Like this:

Happily ever after

Day 327

This evening was spent at the Smithtown Landing Country club to celebrate Jackie and Harun's wedding. The ceremony was lovely, even though it was oustide and sooo cold! They played the music that Doug wrote when Jackie walked down the aisle, and it takes my breath away every time I hear it. He is so talented. I had trouble with containing the crying during the vows, but I muddled through without any makeup disasters. 

The cocktail hour was nice, and I had a lot of fun with the guys of Finespun, and of course Krystal and Lee. Are we the ladies of Finespun now? Is that how it works? 

Jackie and Harun's wedding was hands down the best wedding I have ever been to. I don't think I know anyone at this point who is planning a wedding, but they would be hard pressed to beat out this one. I had an absolute blast and a half. I know Doug did too. They even had an old fashioned photo booth in the back! Too much fun! Then, for the last hour of the night, Matt took over the DJ booth and played all of "our" music. It was awesome! I never thought I would get to dance to our kind of music at a wedding.

I initiated Matt's boss into the goth scene. It was just the 282 pound from back in the day freshman year of college. But I remember feeling kind of special when I learned it. So I showed it to him and said, "That's it, you're in!" I love initiating people who have no idea what's going on.

Jackie showed up for that portion of the evening in a red version of her wedding dress, pulled up in the front so you could see her infamous stomp-stomp boots. The girl's got style.

We all had such an amazing time at the wedding. It was truly the most fun I have ever had at a wedding. I wish nothing but the best for Jackie & Harun. I hope they have many, many years together of love, laughter, and busting into Doug's apartment with ice cream at all hours of the night. Especially that last part.

Meep

Day 326

I got home from a work-related function at 10:30. Yeah, that'd be PM. The dinner was at 6 in Brooklyn. Big mistake. You do not head into Brooklyn from Long Island at 5 PM. In the rain. So we didn't even get there until almost 7, and the demo hadn't even started yet, so my rumbling stomach could go ahead and shut up because it wasn't getting any food. About an hour or so later, they brought out the food. I think it was like some kind of Mediterranean cuisine. I don't even have the first clue what I ate, but I was so hungry that I didn't care. Anything would have tasted good at that point. We left the dinner a little after 9, got back to the office around 10, so I was home at 10:30. It was a very long day. I changed right into my pajamas, and I'm calling it a night.

Jumping the gun

Day 325

The houses across the street vomited Christmas all over their lawns. Really, people? Can we get through Thanksgiving first?

Can I be a mongoose dog?

Day 324

I'm in a GIR hat, so you know what that means! It's a Kathy & Michelle shopping excursion!

We started the afternoon off at Panera for lunch, and then stopped in some stores that were in the same shopping center. I got fuzzy Christmas pajamas. That's how I roll.

Then we went across the street to the Sunrise Mall. The point of this entire shopping trip was so Kathy could get sneakers for hiking in Costa Rica. She has a nearly impossible-to-find shoe size. We searched high and low, and the few pairs she actually tried on weren't right in some way. As we trudged into the last shoe store, we were both feeling a little bummed. It didn't seem likely that we would accomplish our shoe mission.

Then I spotted them - nice sneakers that looked like they'd hold up well for hiking and they were in her size. Hot damn! By the time I got them over to Kathy, the salesgirl had picked out a different shoe for her. Hmph. But all's well that ends well, and in the end, Kathy took home the shoes I had picked out for her. They will have a lovely trip to Costa Rica.

To celebrate, we stopped into Hot Topic where I tried on the fun GIR hat. I actually didn't have a choice in the matter. Kathy decided it needed to be on my head, and so there it was.

I am the chosen one

Day 323

Tonight during Finespun's amazing performance, Ed broke a drum stick. He tossed it to the side of the stage, and it landed at my feet. It looked like a stake. Destiny chose me. I am the slayer.

This turned into a raucously crazy evening, where I staked many "vampires." Harun saw the wrath of my intensive slayer training first. Then I staked Doug, but he miraculously came back from the dusting seeking revenge. Next up was Ed, and while I felt bad that I had to slay him on his birthday, this is my duty. This picture here is my second slaying of Doug, which was entirely epic. Much like when Buffy had to kill Angel, I felt a longing sadness after the slaying was done. But I'm sure that he will be back from the hell dimension, and we will fall in love once again.

"In every generation, there is a chosen one. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. She is the slayer."

Silliness

Day 322

I finally got a photo booth app for my phone that actually works. So I amused myself by taking silly pictures of myself for the blog. Thankfully, I am easily amused.

Yikes

Day 321

Okay, that is just not normal. My cat is definitely a demon.

Time warp

Day 320

Sometimes I wish I had a time machine, or a super power where I could go back in time. I wouldn't do anything crazy or alter major life events. I've watched enough Heroes to know that's a bad idea. I would just leave myself Post-Its on the fridge. Like today, for example.

Dear 8 AM Michelle:
Take the rain coat today. Just trust me.
Love,
5 PM Michelle

Happy place

Day 319

This is how I create Doug's presence at my place when he's not around. Usually this happens when he has band rehearsal late. I take his pillows that live in my apartment, and I put one underneath my head on the couch, and another either in between my knees or at my feet. They smell like Doug and Loki, and I feel content and safe. It's good.