The angelic demon

Day 40

When I got home today, I immediately headed for my bed. I needed a heating pad on my shoulders and Buffy The Vampire Slayer on TV. That was my big plan for the evening - a whole lot of nothing - and I really needed it after my incredibly long and stressful day.

I'm convinced that somehow Luna just knows when I need her. She knows when I need to cuddle, when I need to smile or laugh, and the rest of the time, she's just evil. Her halo balances perfectly on her horns. I wonder where she gets that from...

While I was staring blankly at the television, hoping the heat would make the tension in my shoulders release just a little bit, Luna jumped up on the bed. She started kneading the fuzzy blanket, then the kittens in a row blanket, then she moved up to sniff around the body pillow, the remote control, my phone... She cares, but she doesn't want me to notice that she cares. So she took her sweet time, finally curling up on my stomach to snooze. She must have seen the look on my face, or the way I sighed defeatedly, or something, because she got up, walked up my body, and licked my nose. The smile I needed finally came out.

And then she bit me.

Klutz

Day 39

I should live in a bubble. The new and inventive ways I find to injure myself every single day should be documented and studied. Hell, maybe that will be the title of my book, whenever I get around to writing it - How To Seriously Injure Yourself Without Really Trying. I have actually hurt my neck by not moving an inch. Don't ask me how. But I have managed to do that. More than once.

This particular injury happened at work when I whipped around in my chair too fast and slammed my knee right into the corner of my desk. This was a move I pretty much perfected at Vitamin World - I mean, who told the file cabinet it could be in the same place it always was when my knee clearly needed to be there? - but I haven't cracked it into anything at MCN. Until today. It was an epic hit, complete with watering eyes, whimpering, and clutching my knee as if it might fall off... because, for a minute there, it felt as if that may happen. By the end of the day, I was limping.

By the time I hobbled into the kitchen for an ice pack when I got home, the pain was fairly intense - and I'm used to knee pain, so it had to be bad. Mom asked what happened, and I told her, at which point she demanded to see the injury. I'm 29 years old, but somehow, I'll always be 3. I don't know how that works. When she saw how big my right knee had become in comparison to my left knee, she gasped and gave me the "wow, that is bad" face, at which point she told me to go downstairs, elevate it, and ice it. You don't just ignore orders from Dr. Mom, so this is my exciting evening. At least there's a marathon of The First 48 to keep me company.

License To Drive

Day 38

I renewed my license the day after my birthday, and my new one just came in the mail. I'm so excited about it, because I finally have a new picture. The person on my license finally looks like me, and not a fat, awkward 16-year-old (which is what I was in the old picture). The last time I got my license renewed, the camera at the DMV was broken, so I couldn't get a new picture. Thankfully, this time around, the camera was working. Now at least when I go to a club, the bouncer won't look at my license, then back at me 3 or 4 times before finally letting me in. It could be because by this point most of the guys at the door know me at my usual haunts. But, really, if I wanted to lie about my age to get into bars, wouldn't I choose a fake ID with a picture that looked older than I really am? I don't want to be any older, thanks, because I'm already old. And now that oldness is reflected in my driver's license. Yay old!

I want to play a game...

Day 37

I've always felt a little Saw-esque in this coat. It would be my ideal coat if it was lined in red. Sadly, it's not.

Maybe I'm a little bit sick in the head (okay, there is no maybe about it), but I've always liked Jigsaw. I admire his style. He takes pride in his work - that's a rare quality.

I very much identified with the character Amanda, and I was upset when they killed her off in Saw 3. But she comes back in flashback scenes, so that's cool. That said, I am neither a serial killer nor a junkie.

I still haven't seen the latest movie. I'm a bad fan.

Oops!

Day 36

I was so concerned with getting myself vaguely presentable and collecting every last shred of old memories, which are now in Kathy's possession, that I didn't remember to take the self picture for the day. I vaguely remembered this whole photo project thing somewhere after the 2nd drink and in the middle of dancing.

I ran over to where I'd left my coat and dug around in the pockets until I found the camera. I grabbed Kathy and snapped a quick picture, hoping that it was still February 5th. I couldn't figure out how to make it display the time on my camera, so I had to check my phone.

I made the deadline with 18 minutes to spare. Whew!

Mad munchies

Day 35

I went upstairs last night to get myself a bowl of cereal and found Ron doing the same. I sidled up next to him and grabbed myself a bowl.

"Cheerios?" he asked, offering me the box.

"Nope."

"Krispies?"

"Yep."

He handed me the box of Rice Krispies, and we took turns with the milk, and then settled down at the table. That bowl of cereal was my dinner. It was probably his second, or perhaps third, dinner.  I don't judge. Merely an observation. While snacking, I decided that this should be the self-photo for the day, and I would title it something that I have heard him say for more than half of my life at this point.

I have countless memories of 4 different kitchens now, and Ron in all of them exclaiming loudly and proudly, "I have the mad munchies!"

I enjoyed our mad muchie moment last night, and therefore decided to share it with all the world.

Hibernation

Day 34

I can't count the number of times I say "I just want my bed" in any given day. It's a lot. This is all I've got right now - all I want to do. It is partly seasonal depression, and partly because I've simply given up for the time being. I just want to hide. I think it's something I need to do in order to get myself right, get my feet under me, and start to fix whatever the hell is wrong. It isn't the most fun thing in the world, but it's necessary.

Pilz-E

Day 33

There are six prescription pill bottles in this picture. Six. And they're all mine. It is really kind of amazing the things that stress and emotional upset can do to a person. Before Christmas, I had but two little prescription pill bottles and was hopeful about decreasing that number. So much for that idea.

Mortal world turned to ice

Day 32

When I told Mother Nature to bring it, I didn't actually expect her to call my bluff. I humbly retract my challenge. You can stop now.