Klutz

Day 39

I should live in a bubble. The new and inventive ways I find to injure myself every single day should be documented and studied. Hell, maybe that will be the title of my book, whenever I get around to writing it - How To Seriously Injure Yourself Without Really Trying. I have actually hurt my neck by not moving an inch. Don't ask me how. But I have managed to do that. More than once.

This particular injury happened at work when I whipped around in my chair too fast and slammed my knee right into the corner of my desk. This was a move I pretty much perfected at Vitamin World - I mean, who told the file cabinet it could be in the same place it always was when my knee clearly needed to be there? - but I haven't cracked it into anything at MCN. Until today. It was an epic hit, complete with watering eyes, whimpering, and clutching my knee as if it might fall off... because, for a minute there, it felt as if that may happen. By the end of the day, I was limping.

By the time I hobbled into the kitchen for an ice pack when I got home, the pain was fairly intense - and I'm used to knee pain, so it had to be bad. Mom asked what happened, and I told her, at which point she demanded to see the injury. I'm 29 years old, but somehow, I'll always be 3. I don't know how that works. When she saw how big my right knee had become in comparison to my left knee, she gasped and gave me the "wow, that is bad" face, at which point she told me to go downstairs, elevate it, and ice it. You don't just ignore orders from Dr. Mom, so this is my exciting evening. At least there's a marathon of The First 48 to keep me company.